ƒαçαdєѕ
by rei-blaze
Summary: I am fine. Three words, one account. He had heard a lot, had spoken some. But how many of those were meant? Was any of it meant? - Another AU story.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER:** _This story is a work of fan fiction written for the sole purpose of serving fun. The author doesn't profit from writing this. The Bleach universe and all the characters belong to Tite Kubo._

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**A/N: Hi! Oh, I've got nothing more to say. :)**

**Just please read and enjoy!**

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Wails of heaven in the midst of darkness; intense shower of rain recklessly disturbs the serenity of the night as sharp lightning's occasionally illuminate the sky, and explosive sounds coming after each.

Twelve-eighteen ante meridiem, the clock says. The corridors are lifeless, devoid of even a thin beam of lamp – a perfect setting for horror or suspense films.

It will be mistaken as a sinister ghost, haunting the university dormitories; alternatively, a silent killer during these enigmatic intervals of a nonspatial continuum. Untamed mop of white appears to remain suspended in the space, unsupported. Whereas two bluish-green crystals roll as if scanning the entrance hall. Were it not for the fact that, from time to time, the natural electric discharges in the atmosphere are flashing like a camera against it; its frame will remain inconspicuous in the absence of light. And, it will pass unnoticed that that 'it' is actually a 'he'.

Everyone in the school residence hall is asleep aside from Hitsugaya Toushirou. Nightmares of the past – the inflicter of retribution – had decided to visit him again. He has been suffering from insomnia since he started having those unnecessary dreams.

Until when? Until when will it leave him alone? Until when will life finally realize that he has had enough? That he's already screwed up?

He takes a few leisurely strides in the dormitory hallway.

A slightly ajar door of one of the rooms puts him into a halt; dim light peeking through it. If he's not mistaken, it's the room of his female rival in both academics and sports, Kurosaki Karin.

Curiosity arises within him. He walks for it and intends to give a quick glance. Except, he isn't able to give a heed to the force he puts when he holds the door. It completely opens, and he stumbles inside.

The awaiting view catches him unawares.

The same woman whose favorite thing is to send him into vexation. But on her current appearance, he doubts it if she'll be in the mood to do that – her face is buried on her knees, her arms are wrapped on her bent legs, almost resembling a developing young in a woman's womb.

"Kurosaki," Toushirou absentmindedly whispers.

Karin suddenly looks up, her eyes are wide like he had just frightened her with his calling.

"T- Tou... Hitsugaya. W-what are you doing here?"

She's acting weird; that's the first thing which comes into Toushirou's mind.

"Kurosaki, why are-"

Another strike of lightning, corresponded by loud thunder, arrests him mid-sentence. But what he's not really expecting is Karin's reaction on it.

She tightly shuts her eyes and bits her lower lip. She's trembling, and she appears like she's restraining herself from crying.

This is not how he knows her. The Kurosaki Karin, that he's very familiar with, doesn't know how to show that feeling – dread.

"You're scared of-"

"I am fine. Go away." The air of deep-seated hatred to him is overshadowed by a quake on her voice.

She's afraid, but she doesn't want to admit it.

I am fine.

I am fine, I don't need anyone. I am fine; no one will give a damn. I am fine; I will not display any weakness. I am fine, it is hard to explain. I am fine... At least, I can pretend that I am.

I am fine. Three words, one account. He had heard a lot, had spoken some. But how many of those were meant? Was any of it meant?

Toushirou takes her captive in his gaze as she curls herself. She's a strayed kitten in a corrosive shed of a lonely street; battling against the solitude's agony, trying to send the evidences of the frightening storm into oblivion.

Where's the woman who shows no misgivings when beating other people? Where's the woman who always aims her words to tear flesh? Where's the only woman who always looks down at him?

She's lost.

And, somehow, this scene is familiar. Motion pictures begin to play in a wide screen of an unfrequented theater. Deafening muted sounds, crystal clear images – black, white and a shade of red.

Toushirou closes his eyes and lightly shakes his head. No. Why do those dark memories keep rewinding in his mind? He doesn't want to remember it – his most tragic failure.

Toushirou casts Karin another look before walking to her. He surprises even himself when he bends down and pulls her gently into his larger frame. He feels Karin stiffens at his embrace.

He had seen something similar to this before and he doesn't want to see it, again. And even if this woman, in his arms, always manages to get into his nerves, he'll still find her. He'll bring her back home

"No, you're not fine, Kurosaki."

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**A/N: And cut! The idea just suddenly popped out of nowhere. This story is only a single shot with few short chapters (because I am too lazy to write the whole story, all at once. :P). But, it is still considered as one shot. Pfft. Though, I am wondering if this chapter had already given you a bit of idea about the whole plot.**

**I can't say that there's something new on this. I still used the same style, minus the usual sarcasms. And, as to story - it seems like more serious, right? Well, yeah, maybe. But, oh, c'mon this is still me we're talking here - the girl who is addicted with sweet and mushy stuffs.**

**Thank you for reading, and I'll be happy to hear from you about this story. Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**HAVE FUN READING!**

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His arm is around her petite form; the other hand gently brushes against her dark locks.

Karin's eyes widen at Toushirou's action. She half-heartedly pushes him but he doesn't let her go. He keeps holding her close. Unyielding, but caring.

"H-h-hitsugaya. W-w-what are you d-doing?"

Toushirou breathes out. "I am not really good at comforting anyone. Furthermore, a woman. This is the only thing I can think of doing."

"I said, I am alright," Karin speaks in a low, indistinct tone. Nonetheless, she buries her face against his chest. "I... I don't need anyone to console me."

With half-lidded eyes, Toushirou watches the woman below him. This prospect had never arrived in his mind - that one day, he'll see her like this. He never thought that time will come, he will feel the absence of an annoying rival and is not going to appreciate it.

He closes his eyes, and sighs. He misses her. The hasty and unthinking woman that he knows. The person who always breaks his temper and almost makes him forget that hitting a girl is against his morale.

For the first time since he met her, he wishes to see that stupid smirk of hers. He wants to hear her irritating voice, the non-sensical remarks, and the vulgar words which she always uses everytime they are having an argument.

Her serious-are-losers attitude is downright aggravating. But, he realizes that he likes her better with that than this - fragile and helpless.

Now, he wonders if her tough behavior is always true. Or, just a false front.

His hand moves from her hair down to her form. It soothes her back.

"It's the most distressing part... You're saying that you're alright but, the truth is, you're already broken within."

Karin is too, emotionally, worn out to still argue with him. Maybe, he's right. She's already shattered inside.

She finally gives in and relaxes on his hold. She deeply exhales, and appreciates his scent.

They stay like that. Laconic companionship settles between them.

Karin snuggles closer against his frame. This is odd. For a person with a cold personality, Toushirou's embrace is so warm and comfortable.

With his one hand caressing her back, Karin can imagine herself on a solitary stream of a magical night forest; charmed, tepid water kissing her totally exposed skin. A natural fountain of panacea - it mollifies her nerves, alleviates the tumultuous sensations.

In his arms, she can feel it.

Warmth.

Security.

Solace.

Tranquility.

She's close to home.

"I-It always reminds me of the past... The heavy rain. The sharp lightning. The loud thunder," Karin suddenly speaks, her voice is still shaking.

Toushirou tightens his hold, just enough for her to breathe, and to let her know that he's listening.

Karin grasps his top. "A horrid memory that I am desperately trying to forget. I-it's just... It's just too painful to remember it again... My... my mother's death... My family's grief. A-and I? What had I done during those times?"

Toushirou stays silent. He honestly doesn't know what are the right words to say.

"I was useless. I, still, am. That's why... I could only run away."

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**A/N: Whoops, whoops! Sorry if it's short, but I hope you still enjoyed. Please review!**

**Later, honeys!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disquietude kept within the dungeon's bounds; Toushirou feels the desire to know how Karin had contended such state before. Was she always this helpless every time there was a storm? Why, then? Why had he never discerned any trace from her?

"My mother died in the wake of saving my older brother from being hit by a car. A tragedy, during a storm, happened before my and my siblings' eyes. The thunders, resounding together with my twin sister's mournful cry. It was... It was very horrible."

Since when had she been bottling up everything within herself? For how long had she been pretending fine?

"I was five. I didn't know what to do. My brother blamed himself for that incident. Because of that, he changed. The cheerful brother, that I once had, is gone. My twin sister took half of the parents' responsibilities. At a young age, she had become the mother-figure of our family. And, dad, he had never been the same. He acted fine, exceedingly cheerful, but... But that display holds no water for us. Because we know, it's also painful for him."

Karin grasps on Toushirou's shirt tighter, as if trying to make sure that he's still close. Right there in his arms, she just wants to break down; let herself sleep on his silent lullaby.

"And I? I couldn't do anything but to promise that I am not going to cry, anymore. I do not want to become an addition to their worries. But it didn't really help. I am just a burden for them, that's why I decided to study here, far from them. But the pain... the lonely feeling of being away from home. With no one to understand you. It's too much."

Toushirou gently keeps Karin's face apart from his chest. He wants her to see his sincere expression while saying the words which, he hopes, will help her feel better.

As he softly touches her face and intently looks at those eyes, — those dark eyes, usually holding contempt every time they are looking at him; now so pure and afraid — Toushirou finds a young beauty whom he never took notice before for the reason that he was blinded by the enmity between them.

"You're strong, but it is not going to change the fact that you're also suffering from pain, from fear. If it is already too much, then let go. Cry, if necessary."

Karin shakes her head as her dark, round eyes stare unbelievingly at him. "I-I can't do that."

But, she stops to reconsider the thought when she sees Toushirou's soft smile, — too beautiful to be not enchanted — assuring her that it will be fine. With that pull, Karin bites her lower lip and crashes her face against his chest, once more.

For the very first time since her mother died, the tears, she had long-rendered non-existent, fall from her eyes. At the moment, she doesn't care about the fact that she is already letting all her guards down. She doesn't throw a damn if she is currently enclosed within this guy's arms — Toushirou, who is practically her nemesis.

She cries.

Her promise doesn't matter for now. She has to cry.

Toushirou watches as her shoulders shake every time she makes an inarticulate sobbing sound against his chest. Is this the real Karin behind all those scornful grins?

Possibly, some people are just exceptionally good at offering pretense, wearing mask — like his sister, like him. And, maybe, Karin is nowise different.

Toushirou can't help but think about those two words he had told her — let go. Telling it, and acting upon it; there lies a difference in between.

Let go. It was very simple when he said it to her, but doing it himself? He wonders if he will also learn to let go.


End file.
